Chaos—– Revelation —– Disruption —– Realizing the truth
Disillusion — Crash — Burst — Uncomfortable experience
Once I love you, beware. I tend to leave no stone unturned, no covered wound bandaged.
I want to know what is inside your head. I want to tease out every notion, and challenge it to know it’s truth. I want to know what you are made of.
I don’t trust you. I don’t trust what you say, or what you think. Within you are ideas born of ill experience, of pain and anger and heart-break. Within you is a lifetime of defences, and I want to tear them down.
Either the querents must make changes in their own lives, or the changes will be made for them.
I want to pull apart your notions of reality and discard everything that’s illusionary.
If I love you, I want to drag you kicking and screaming into blinding white light. I want to hold your eyes open while your retinas adjust to the sun. I want you to see. You may feel like I don’t love you, I don’t respect you or I don’t care about what you think you want and need. So I have learnt to apologise, for this incisive purple serpent coiled through my being. I have learnt, to be gentle and patient and to bite my tongue. To inhibit these urges running through me, to bite down and resist like a vampire who smells blood. Sometimes I can let things be. Someones, I will manage to still my fingers before it pokes at your sore spots. It’s becoming optional. No desire to unravel? I can step away. But know this.
If I love you, I want the world for you. I want to see you stripped bare and rebirthed. I will recklessly pull from you every notion you are tenaciously clinging to that does not serve you, that is born from your pain, until you can fully experience who you are, and what you are here to do.
Such a process is confronting, yes.
Not for everyone, no.
Gibran says it best. ‘If in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor, Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears’.
You have been warned. 😉