ennui

Published April 24, 2014 by 51percentawesome

What did your parents train you? Do you even know? Think back, untangle.

My father, To not speak up, to allow untruths to pass, My mother, to be honest and die by the sword if I failed.

Contradictory.

‘Keep running in the direction of God as fast as you can, and if someone manages to keep up, introduce yourself’.

Sounds about right. Easier said than done.

Dear Friend. I am so disappointed in you. You’re too old to give him children. I thought you were my friend. He said you were being manipulative. I didn’t believe him. He was right. Where was your unconditional love then? You might be getting better at boundaries, but what about honesty and transperency? I felt like my stomach was filled with knives stabbing me. And i didn’t walk away- curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. He said that I think I’m so fucking perfect. An yeah, I kinda am, in the ways that matter. Honest, considered, upfront. Not sure what I want, but I do my best to figure it out and speak up about it. And I definitely don’ try to manipulate or pressure into people to surrender themselves and their truth over to me. That’s the sound of heartbreak, and I welcome this opportunity to define myself, in the face of that which I am not, and do not want. Thanks for that.

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