‘There’s something I missed… it’s nothing dangerous’ his voicemail says.
Runny poos. No poos. Cramps, if I eat fruit… if I eat veg. When I eat grains. When I eat nuts…. When I eat anything. Colic.
‘You’ve lost so much weight! Why don’t you eat something!’
I start to add fats and sugars, when I do eat.
Taking another pregnancy test, because I’m nauseous.
BMI less than 18.5. You are underweight for your height. It’s important to aim to keep within your healthy weight range. If you’re concerned about your weight or you are losing weight without trying, talk to your doctor to make sure there aren’t any other problems causing this. Being in the healthy weight range will improve your body’s ability to fight off infection or illness.
Like recurrent guardeneralla infections, stinging my vagina and deterring me from sex. Ringworm that spreads from my back, to my belly, and now down my arms.
Laying awake at midnight, desperately googling every kind of mite I can think of. Saying ‘this happens occasionally *shrug*, while systematically scratching the skin off every surface of my body until it collects under my nails and runs down the drain. Pruritis. Learning the word for this, even though the liver tests come back clear.
Standing in front of the mirror staring at the place where my boobs used to be.
My boyfriend lagging behind our group of friends for me to catch up, so he can push me up the hill. Avoiding going upstairs. Fatigue. Crashing at 5pm each day, while the dishes pile up and the house becomes uncomfortable. Laying in bed staring at my phone, even though there’s so much I want to do. Malaise.
My iron levels drop.
Can’t hold my phone anymore, my elbows ache. My hips, my knees; I point and my boyfriend massages.
Standing up, holding onto the bedpost and waiting for the black out to pass. This happens occasionally.