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All posts for the month April, 2016

weight-loss: how to

Published April 18, 2016 by 51percentawesome
  1. travel, get a difficult to eradicate parasite. bugs like blastocystis multiply as you eat, so the  more you eat, the less you’ll weigh. also reduces the desire to eat. perfect.
  2. develop subsequent food intolerances and allergies. this will make it painful to eat 80-90% of foods, especially those found in restaurants and social situations, so you will be forced under pain of punishment to keep it minimal.This will eradicate the ability to eat most foods including but not limited to dairy, gluten, all pastries, cakes, most lollies, the ‘healthy’ replacements based on cashew nut or coconut flour, beer, cider, nightshade vegetables such as tomatoes/potatoes/eggplant/chilli. Take it one step further with a salicylate intolerance to eliminate meat and veg, or go full hog carbohydrate intolerant.
  3. add some stress/a pregnancy to progress to level ultimate chronic fatigue (in case the bug didn’t trigger it already) which will ensure you don’t eat at home either, as your arms will be too tired and achey to flounder around in the kitchen. step back from the blender, fatty, get back in bed and starve
  4. with enough time, the above measures will fully exhaust your adrenals. when your cortisol drops, this will create a physical anxiety disorder with heart palpitations, panic attacks and intermittent nausea. Combined with the above, this will remove basically any chance of you establishing regular mealtimes or maintaining body fat.

    Ta-da! You’re never seeing your booty again. 10/10.

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